Kiprah (Progress) 1 for Edition 36:
Nurturing Children with  Love, a Note of the Book Review
by: Riri Khariroh

“How do we know children understand what parents’s wants, and how parents understand the children’s wants?” How to deal with a child who likes to hit? Why does parenting seem to be mother’s responsibility? Those were some questions raised by participants of the book review “Parenting with Love: The Islamic Guide to Educate Children with Love and Compassion” held by Rahima at Leksika Lenteng Agung book shop last July. This book was written by a couple; Maria Ulfah Anshor and Abdullah Ghalib who were inspired by their experiences in caring for and raising their two children who are teenagers now.

According to the author, the speaker of the book review, that also based on her experiences as the Chair of Indonesian Children Protection Commission (KPAI). It is clear that many parents are “unconsciously” having been and are exploiting their children, for example by sending children to work, forgot to fulfill their basic rights, such as the right to play, to attend school, to get affection, to hang out with peers and others. However the threat of much more dangerous exploitations come from national and international syndicates for criminal purposes such as trafficking, pornography, pedophilia, drug businesses and organized beggars. Therefore, the issues of the children need to get serious attention from parents, community and the country.

Islamic Teaching on Parenting
“Islam teaches that the children are God’s trust who must be guarded. Parents are responsible for shaping brain, emotional and spiritual spirits of children, “explained Daan Dini Khairunnida, one of the book’s reviewers. She admitted that being a good parent is not easy and requires a learning process that never stops, learning by doing. The children also desperately need love and affection from parents to make their personality grow well.

However, parents often impose their wills on children for their better future. This kind of “coercion” according to Sani B. Hermawan, who is also the book’s reviewer, will become a boomerang for development and life of the children. Based on her experience as a family psychologist, Mbak Sani (her nickname) suggests that building a good communication with children is very important. “Right now, it’s not time to take care of children with coercion, violence and command. How can a mother or father tell their children to learn, while they have fun watching television?” she asked. Therefore, the children need role models in their development, and parents should be good role models for their children. This accordance with words of Prophet Muhammad, “Every child is born in a holy state, then her/ his parents make her/ him Jewish, Christian, or Majoosi.” The parents have an absolute role in shaping character and personality of the children. [] Riri

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